Epiphany for the New Year

New Years came and went with no resolutions for me this year.

I have changed.

In years past I was often quite intentional about thinking through my resolutions for the coming year. Sometimes writing them out, sharing them as part of the New Years Eve celebrations, but minimally knowing for myself what they were and why.  I would have concrete goals and "resolutions", things to start and things to stop.

Not this year.  I realized as the year was coming to a close that my focus had changed.  My thoughts were of the coming days of Christmas, the days after the 25th leading up to today, Epiphany.  The liturgical calendar and the rhythm of its days has become more woven into the fabric of my soul.

It made me smile.

It was sweet to not make my lists and goals of driveness, robbing me of just being present for all that life had to bring to me following Christmas Day.  It was even sweeter that it wasn't a conscious choice, it simply unfolded out the goodness that has come with the shift in my way of being.

I have been pondering a word for the year.  Last year my word was "accept".  It came to me clearly and was something I found my heart returning to and holding as the year went by.  I began listening for the word for this year as December was beginning.

I've held onto a few words, praying and asking God about them.  I heard from Him clearly this week.

Home.

The word for this year is Home. 

It comes packed with possibility and meaning, but it starts deep in my heart and hearing it so clearly from God has already brought clarity in the midst of confusion, an anchoring place for me to swim back to when the water of life starts to feel deep.

There will be light that comes through the choice to hold this word, just as there was light that came last year from holding "accept".

My tree on the three seasons porch is still lit, tonight is the last night and the first night.  

Christmastime has ended and Epiphany has begun.  The light that has been welcomed and celebrated will now be carried forward into the rest of the year.

As our other decorations came down I was very aware of why the tree on the porch stayed up, decorated and lit.  It was a reminder for me, and I have loved that.

The presence of the tree has reminded me to stay aware, to keep listening, to continue to ponder the Christ Child, the LIGHT, the Savior.  

In my listening I have heard the fragility of life, the importance of making the most of each moment and holding close those who are most dear to my heart.

Sunday morning I got a call from my Dad, who was taking my Mom to the ER.  She's had ongoing issues with her heart the past 18 months and now something new has developed.  It's been a bit of a roller coaster since Sunday with the diagnosis and plan of action changing from yesterday to today.  Tonight there unknowns I must sleep with and answers that may not come for a few days.  She feels too far away and the gift of cell phones, face time and texting are easing that distance, but not bridging it enough.

Home.

Home is here and Home is there....

I am holding it all close to my heart tonight.  

"If we are too preoccupied and too busy, we fail to connect simple exchanges of love with others.  Love doesn't need long speeches.  Rather, love is attentive to fleeting moments of peace, kindness, friendship and compassion.  Love invites us as a spiritual discipline to communicate with our loved ones more and more from hearts broken open by compassion."      Henri Nouwen from Home Tonight

 

Comments

[Elaine Stoub]

The importance of making the most of each moment and holding close those who are most close to my heart....
I love these words....I want to hold them close to my heart, " from hearts broken open by compassion."
Brought my heart back to "the little woman in yellow"

Thanks Tracy you just have a way.......

[Jan Proett]

Tracy, I love this. When I think of you, I think of a woman who already has 'home' woven so deeply into her heart, so just imagine what will come this year! I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Mercy for you all as you wait, and are far away.

[Russ]

HOME home... is in Texas!

[Dave Mascorro]

I've appreciated your encouragement lately to live present in my community. Your post continues to be God's gentle invitation for me to be ME, to wake up to what He is up to now, with my family, my friends, my work, to not hide my presence behind those same old, tired, protective tendencies. Thanks for being YOU! As always, inspiring.

[Tracy]

Thanks Elaine....I remember that story about the woman in yellow and how you noticed her. You are a blessing friend.

[Tracy]

Jan...you know so well the ache of distance when your heart desires to be with the ones you love on a moments notice. I too am hopeful for what this year holds!

[Tracy]

Russ,,,,,yes, for my heart Texas most certainly holds the space of home!

[Tracy]

Dave....my friend, what may unfold for you this year as you bring yourself to those around you in new ways, I can't wait to see! Love to you always.

[Joanna]

This resonates in my heart as true. And hard.
I talked to your dad Monday...strange how we are interconnected.

[Tracy]

I love where we are interconnected my friend!

[Janet]

Love this, love your choice to be present rather than driven, with goals and resolutions. Home feels like the perfect word!

[Tracy]

Thanks Janet, me too. Made for a very relaxed New Years Eve with friends!!

[Valerie Avery]

"possibility and meaning,... clarity in the midst of confusion,... an anchoring place for me to swim back to when the water of life starts to feel deep"....

Tracy, the words are fresh and new for the year and already being offered to you as a place for your heart to "be" as you hold concerns about your mother's health and the distance that keeps you unable to care in ways that you might like. I imagine the waters feel a bit deep.

Gratitude that God has given you this word and this place that you have for you and so often offer to others.....Home.